Dear every teenager who is too much like the old me.
You will be judged one day, by whatever that force may be, your actions you chose to live by may very well be your doom.
You know that classic line from movies, when they are teaching someone to shoot in a hurry? “point and squeeze”. The best advice in a dire situation, but the worst advice a human can ever receive. When my moment came to live that dark choice in life, I’m glad I only followed half of that advice and just pointed, where I grew up like countless others it was like the only choice to have for your future life was to be violent and do anything to survive. Luckily in a moment of me being the person the world told me I had to be, I saw it, Fear, desperation in the eyes of everyone around me. That was the moment I became truly human.
I was lucky, all my action was before my 18th birthday and I could get it all sealed and then expunged, and you think you can do the same, while you’re a minor, things are hidden but why? What about that dumb mistake you make on your 17th birthday and the case rolls to your 18th then you’re going to that big jail and that records there if they find you guilty. What if you’re so stupid your crime is a considered to be adult like, then what? Then you’re stuck in the system over and over forever no chance to be anything just like the world wanted you to be.
I know you think right now it’s about protecting yourself, and your people. The people who have said they will protect you and give you everything you need. Aren’t you a supposed adult by how you act, doing things against the rules, so why do you need men twice your age to protect you and provide for you when you can do it on your own. I understand what life is like, I know you have to survive as the bullets fly overhead. you’re better than this.
You hang out with the big homies, sitting outside in the middle of the night, passing stories and all that other stuff. Staring down every car that drives by. You try to act tough looking at that car, but you know deep inside, behind any of those windows could hold a loud bang that could kill those around you or even yourself, because of the life you in.
All we have ever seen is a struggle brought upon and maintained sometimes by the government we see child services as a separator, as a human related to emotional trauma, but is it always their fault? Or is it the people around causing that trauma. I know you think you have to not trust the system, and I get it who hasn’t it failed. We were raised to see police as killers, and violent people behind the badge. Sure, there’s proof that exist, but is it your behavior that brings it around also. Your surroundings don’t have to make you when you can easily make your surroundings.
You have a choice. You have every opportunity in the world. You don’t need to hangout with them you don’t need to think like they do. Find that opportunity and go take It. Leave those surroundings, find that job that will give you whatever money you can make. Learn grow and be the person the world needs you to be.