You know how at one point in everybody’s life, they go through a life changing moment? Where there’s a fork in the road and you can take either way and it’ll change your life and your outlook on life forever. I had that life changing moment before and it’s shaped me into who I am today.
Let’s flashback to about two years ago. It was a few weeks before the beginning of my senior year in high school. I had spent the summer getting over a breakup. I felt lost all summer long. All I had was my one best friend to count on consistently. She was there for me every single day and she still is here for me whenever I need her. Anyway, that breakup was my first real relationship and it ended with me getting cheated on. I felt stupid. How could I be so dumb to not notice? Six months of being naive. To this day, it’s still hard for me to trust anybody.
On one particular day, my cousin was walking around town with me trying to make me feel better. He had a friend who was looking for a girlfriend so you know where this is going to go. We got set up. He was the same age as me, six days apart actually. We were in the same grade and somehow during the six years we went to school together I only noticed him during my senior year. That shows how introverted I am. At first I decided it wouldn’t be too bad to try to make a new friend since I only had two friends. What’s the harm in that? The three of us started to hangout that night and it wasn’t too bad. He was really nice, pretty cute, and funny. It was a good first impression I’d say.
That night he ended up getting my phone number from my cousin and he texted me. He said he wanted to hangout with me again and I was happy. Being a loner all my life I was so excited to have somebody who wants my company. Over the next few days the three of us met up again and hung out. It felt different though. It seemed like he didn’t really care about me, he only wanted me for my body. Which I was nowhere near ready for that. After he learned that he disappeared. Once again, I was devastated. I knew from the beginning it was too good to be true. I was left feeling stupid and from that moment on I convinced myself that nobody will ever love me or care about me so I should stick to my two friends and forget about making new friends.
A week had passed and I was with my friend at the gas station buying some chips when one of her friends showed up. He looked familiar but I didn’t think I had ever talked to him. He seemed pretty nice, but I didn’t really talk to him. Then in the next few days it seemed like he had been showing up wherever I was a lot more often. As it turns out he liked me. I was not ready to be let down again so I kept my guard up. After much convincing I decided to give it a shot and try to make a friend.
Two years ago, I was a 17 year old girl who was an absolute nobody that wasn’t going anywhere in life. I was awkward, introverted, I let my social anxiety get the best of me everyday. I didn’t think I would have more than two friends my entire life and I had accepted that. I never went out or got invited to anything. I was the quiet girl who sat in the corner and didn’t utter a single word. I was different from society’s standards. I loved learning about new things. Writing is my passion but I wouldn’t let anybody know that for fear I would get made fun of because I was so self conscious.
Today, I’m 19 years old. I never would’ve imagined in a million years that I’d be where I am today. After I met that guy we ended up dating and it’s been two amazing years. He’s the reason I started writing my blog in the first place. I was so nervous that I wasn’t good enough so I had given up before I even started. He’s been my biggest supporter ever since. I’ve made so many new friends and I love them all so much. That one decision to hangout with somebody changed my life forever. I was accepted into a friend group for who I am. I’m not afraid to be judged anymore. I have a thicker skin and I’m not afraid to stand up for things I believe in. I’m not the shy little girl in the corner anymore. At times I let my social anxiety get the best of me and like everybody who has this knows there’s bad days and good days. Someday, I’m going to get to the point where there’s only good days.
Some days I wonder where I’d be today if I would’ve done something differently. What if I chose somebody who only wanted me for my body? Would I be a blogger today? Would I be as confident as I am today? Or would I let everybody walk all over me. Those are questions I’ll never know the answer to because I didn’t take that path when I was crossed with the fork in the road.
“On every journey you take, you are met with options. At every fork in the road, you make a choice. These are the decisions that shape your life.” – Mike Dewine.
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